Divorce hurts more than the people who were married

I know it's been a while since I've written. I'm sorry. I've been having a hard time making sense of a lot of things in life. My parents divorced after almost 25 years of marriage and it has literally torn my entire family apart. Now, almost 8 years later, things are worse than ever. My mother and I aren't speaking for reasons that are unknown to me, and I worry about her every day.

My sister and her husband are also getting a divorce. Her husband had an affair and asked for a divorce. Seems he had not been happy for a long, long time. I know he was unhappy, but I don't feel like that gives a person the right to have an affair. What people don't seem to understand is that getting divorced does not free you from the person who you think you no longer love. It only makes more pain between the two of you. And, while you're at it, it hurts everyone who has been around you as a couple. Your closest friends and relatives will want to love you through the process, but feel pain and grief just like you. Sure it's different, but still painful. And then there are your children if you have them. No one knows what goes through the minds of children of divorce except the children. In the best of circumstances you still love your children just the same and dont' let the divorce affect that. But, the reality is they are a lot of the reason you can't just walk away from your spouse.

Oh yeah, and I haven't even mentioned the fact that you loved your spouse when you got married. That doesn't just go away. You may suppress it, or let the world tell you that it's all ok, and it's the "right thing to do", you "deserve to be happy".. I could go on and on. What I don't understand is why do you have to end your marriage to be happy? Listen, ALL MARRIAGES GO THROUGH BAD PATCHES. Yes, even mine has. There have been days when I wasn't sure why I was married to my husband, and I'm quite sure he has had the same thoughts about me. But the answer is very simple. And, it's the same for me, for you and for any married couple. God.