2 parts of 1 whole

The inlaws...  They can enhance, or tear down your marriage.  I think what they do in your marriage depends greatly on you.  Sure, it matters whether they are supportive, or not, but ultimately they are just like any other outside pressure on your marriage and should be treated as such.

My husband and I have a running joke about pecking order in our house...  It goes something like this:
My 15 year old cat
Jeremy
My kids
Church
My husband

It's all fun and games, but only because there is a true pecking order that I protect with every part of my being.  And it goes like this:
God
My husband
My kids
Extended family
My close friends
My 15 year old cat...

Ok the cat part's a joke, but you get the point.  There was a time in my marriage that we were in trouble.  Big trouble.  And a big part of that trouble was my mother.  She has never been supportive of our marriage and has taken every opportunity to tear down my marriage and/or my husband she could.  There came a time when I had to have the conversation with her.

I had to tell her that my husband and I are 2 parts of one whole and when she hurts him, she hurts me.  I had to make it clear to her that she will treat my husband with respect.  I wish I could tell you that everything got better, but if you read my other blog you know that's not true.

It was hard to stand up to my mother for my husband.  But I wouldn't change a thing, because he knew I was on his side.


Listen, when you got married you made a commitment to your spouse.  You committed to become 2 parts of 1 flesh.  You wouldn't let someone attack your left leg until it was beat up.  Why do you let someone attack your spouse?    When you don't stand up for your spouse you send a real clear message.  YOU ARE NOT WORTH PROTECTING TO ME.  And that hurts.